my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
