I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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