i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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