I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
