we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
