mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
