remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
should my penis look like a turkey
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
