Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
