oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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