he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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