Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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