I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize