I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
