Where did you get a picture of my penis
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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