worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i came on her dog
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
