i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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