i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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