He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
