Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
