I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
