thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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