Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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