Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
