I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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