Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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