Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
