just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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