It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
