I just made out with a guy for $7.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Found the puke drawer
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
