i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
