her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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