Can i not drive my cunt home
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
