why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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