I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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