I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
