im holly from the hills drunk
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
