Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
