drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
