we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
