Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
