They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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