I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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