Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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