mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
