Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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