Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
