My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
