she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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