So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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