Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
