North Korea, Best Korea!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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