Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
