I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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