I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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