i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
