Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
