OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize