Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
