He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Are we still banned from the library?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
