so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
where are you?
Hypothermia
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
