alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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