there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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