I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
