i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
