He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
