i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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