Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
