We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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