Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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