I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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