she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
